I’ve been asked to give my goblin-perspective on a new beef that has emerged by two dudes in the music sphere who vaguely resemble vampires: MGK and YUNGBLUD. At first glance, neither look like they’ve never had a burger in their life, THE IRONY! I’ve never seen so many pale-looking abs! So many questions arise: is this beef newsworthy? Is it grass fed? Is this good for the music industry to have two tatted titans arguing through their publicists?
Short answer, YES. To all the above, this is indeed a newsworthy, grassfed, bodacious beef that is VERY
good for the music industry, and honestly all the fans. I would argue it is what has kept the music industry alive since the dawn of time.
Think about it (oh my gob, is this why they call it a THINK PIECE?!), since its inception, music has always been a beacon of light and hope. A universal language that can unite people from all walks of life. Music breeds community, right? RIGHT?! Eh, maybe for the audiences, but for the tortured souls tasked with creating it, the musicians, well, they’ve always been in competition with one another.. And maybe that’s a good thing?
Ask yourself, is there a Megadeth without a beef within Metallica? Is there a Backstreet Boys without a little red-meat-pressure from NSYNC releasing that absolute banger where they were those cute-little puppets in a toy shop?! Does the Hip-Hop genre even exist if not for the clash between coasts?! Or more recently, between the brilliant Kendrick Lamar and that Canadian guy with the nasally voice?! Stevie Nicks got cheated on by her husband/bandmate and said, “I’m gonna write a song about your stupid cheating-a** and make you harmonize with me every night on it!!!” That’s DIABOLICAL and I love it. We need more of THAT.
You think this is new? NAY. Going back to classical times, Salieri had so much beef with Mozart he could have opened a steakhouse! Which inevitably wouldn’t have been as good as Mozart’s. Don’t even get me started on Beethoven, that dude hated EVERYBODY, also heard he was a terrible listener. If artists don’t have anybody to beef with, they will fall complacent, every song will begin to sound like a cacophony of sounds riddled with lyrics so vague no amount of Reddit threads can decipher, aka Imagine Dragons!
Now, wouldn’t it be sick if the dude from Nickelback did an entire diss-track about how the lead singer of Imagine Dragons is a little baby who is stuck inside a man’s body, and the reason he can’t wear a shirt is because he drools too much? Now, we are talking. Now, I’m finally listening to Nickelback! It adds excitement. It gives the music DIRECTION.
A lot of people don’t know but my band’s song “BEARS” is actually a diss-track foreshadowing that the fourth season of the hit show The Bear would be a big departure from the first three seasons, ultimately losing steam and not receiving as much critical acclaim.
Let’s take a look at the tweet in question here from MGK…
For a guy appealing to Gen-Z that’s maybe one too many emojis, M! Can I call you M? Machine? I like how he is really sticking to the facts, hitting ‘em where it hurts, his wallet! I do also very much enjoy how he ends the tweet by calling him a “wanker” which is such a power-move to insult somebody using their own cultural-lingo. I wish he would have started it with “Bruv,” but points all around for Mr. GK. See now I’m JACKED, I can’t wait to see how YUNGBLUD will respond. Will he also try a verbal attack in the style of MGK? Will his attack start out pretending to be from the streets, then slightly get more punk rock until eventually it’s fully Nu-Metal collabing with Fred Durst? Speaking of, that new song they did together? BANG–ER. If you wanna see me dance to that track click HERE.
Taking a step back, both MGK and YUNGBLUD are just two skinny-dudes who are mashing together a ton of genres while trying to look as if nothing ruffles their feathers, yet it’s clear, those feathers might as well be potato chips, cause there’s RUFFLES. Maybe it’s that they see a lot of themselves in each other. That’s why I have a lot of resentment for Danny Devito, we have a similar build, and a very similar career trajectory. Sometimes, who we are really beefing with, is the androgynous musician in the mirror?!
In conclusion, why are we kidding ourselves thinking all artists should get along?! They should not. Despite what any vegan tells you, BEEF is good. It’s delicious. Good for you. Good for us. Good for music. Competition breeds success. More like competition BEEFS success, ammright? Of course I am. I’m John Goblikon.
Now if you’ll excuse, after all this beef talk, I’m craving Five Guys harder than Lance Bass!